My Mother is Changing

She has called three times to see how our vacation went, not remembering that we've been back for weeks, I've visited her several times, and we've talked numerous times on the phone. I printed out my novel, so she could read it now, while she might be able to enjoy it, but she sees a Kinko's box on her table and doesn't remember what it is, nor that she's supposed to read what's in it.

I'm glad she's living where she is--she likes the people, the food, the activities--but her anchor to the world has been raised, and she's drifting slowly out to sea. Soon I won't be able to reach her at all.

You Want Me to WHAT??

I had a colonoscopy today, just for the sheer raw fun of it, but it confirmed my decision not to put Betty through it. The test is nothing--it's the day before, when you can't eat real food all day, and the evening before, when you have to drink two liters of weird (though clear, thank God) liquid and take pills that make you run to the bathroom every 20 minutes all night.

Betty had an upper GI, and they also want to do a colonoscopy, but I'm saying HELL NO. She doesn't have enough symptoms to put any of us through that. I could barely handle it, and I'm fairly lucid and 40+ years younger.

To Test or Not to Test, That is the Question

MIL's doctor wants her to have an upper GI test and a colonoscopy to find out why she continues to have nausea, in spite of losing her gall bladder (and gall stones.) The upper test is scheduled for next week, and the wonderful Kim will take her, which is great, but the colonoscopy people don't want to do the test unless it's absolutely necessary, because there's risk for a person her age (85).

So I think I'll have them look at the results of the first test before deciding whether we need to do the second one. Maybe I'll increase her Prilosec, too. That was suggested by the VA.

Her stomach is upset today, but I think it's because she had a milkshake and a huge rootbeer float last night (see www.thecrankycaregiver.blogspot.com) We went out for dinner for my husband's birthday, and Betty wanted to pay, so I let her eat what she wanted... after warning her what would happen if she took her dentures out at the table. She did that last time we went to this restaurant, and I'm sure there are strangers from adjacent tables who are still having nightmares.

Life Goes On

A couple of weeks ago, Betty got the stomach flu that's been going around, and about every 48 hours, another member of the family caught it, starting with me. Kim, her wonderful driver, took her to the doctor for me, as I was feeling awful, and they prescribed an anti-nausea drug. What a miracle pill! We still have some left, and when Betty complained about nausea again last week, and was curled up on her bed feeling awful, I gave her one of them. Within 45 minutes, she was eating and taking her medicine.

So if you're dealing with an elderly person who's going to vomit all over herself and create lots of extra work for YOU, not to mention misery for herself, see if you can get a doctor to prescribe one of these wonderful drugs. Better Living Through Chemistry--it's not just a slogan to me!

Horses and Zebras

I haven't been giving Betty her Aricept (Alzheimer's treatment) for almost a week. Her VA doctor wondered if doubling the dose might have caused her upset stomach at the rehab center. The doctor said that after they doubled it, the problem would have taken time to develop, and maybe that's what was happening. So when she came home from rehab and almost instantly complained of the same thing, we talked and I suggested we experiment with it.

Then Betty's OTHER doctor diagnosed flu, and gave her anti-nausea drugs for it. So maybe that was the problem. It wouldn't explain her nausea at the rehab center though. So I'm continuing with the Aricept experiment until Betty is free from nausea for several days, then I'm going to put her back on the original low dose, and if the nausea comes back, we're going to discontinue it.

You know the old saying, "When you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras." ? Well, around here it's usually both.

Back to Reality

Betty came home last week, but I must admit, she's trying very hard not to cause problems. I have the wonderful Kim K. coming to drive her adult day care and take her to the bookstore and other such places, and she has turned out to be a Godsend. She used to work at my mother's Assisted Living center, and I had no idea she'd left their because of the stress. We ran into each other just before Christmas, and I mentioned that I needed a new driver for Betty. She expressed interest, but then the company I'd called about this contacted me to say they'd found someone to fill the position.

I wasn't sure what to do, but decided to hire Kim, in spite of the fact that she doesn't have a corporate structure around her. She's more flexible, and happy to help me in other ways, like shopping, etc.

So when Betty started with vomiting and diarrhea just days after coming home, threw up at the adult day center, and had to come home early, Kim helped me handle it. It has turned out to be flu, and so far, Mikey is the only one who hasn't caught it. Betty made a mess on her floor and bed yesterday, and I felt sorry for her--she kept saying, "I'll go back to the rehab center. I know I have to go back. You can send me back."

Devonna, the home health aid who now comes three times a week, was here yesterday morning and discovered the mess. She helped me clean it up, then Kim took Betty to the doctor for me, shopped for her medicine, Gatorade, etc. I was still feeling lousy from my bout with the flu, so I just laid on the couch, did Betty's laundry, and felt sorry for myself. Not the worst morning I've had...

Betty has started putting her pills in the pockets of her clothing, intending to "take them later," so we have to watch for this behavior, but aside from that, oh, and coming out of her room in only a tee shirt this morning (thank God Mikey was still at a birthday party sleepover), life goes on as usual.

Happy Hanukkah to Me

Well, I'm going to hell for sure, but what a nice month+ it's been. Betty's respiratory stuff just wasn't going away, and in early November, she got so weak that we took her to the emergency room. I won't make you sit through the play-by-play, but she ended up with a diagnosis of pneumonia and had her gall bladder taken out. Turns out that her stomach aches were the result of gallstones. After the surgery, they put her in a rehab center to get stronger, and all these weeks later, she's still not home. I have to admit it's been a nice break, but I suspect it's nearly over.

So since November 9, I've had to deal with multiple doctors, bring her books, make semi-regular visits, etc., but I haven't had to deal with her dentures, meds, complaints (well some of them), semi-dressed state of nakedness, etc. So I'll burn in hell for enjoying her hospital stay, but I'M ENJOYING IT.

There, I said it. BRING ON THE DIVINE RETRIBUTION. BRING IT.