It's Friday, which is one of the days MIL is supposed to go to the Senior Center for therapy (and, yes, to get out of my hair). She wouldn't get dressed, so I told her I'd take her in her nightgown if that's what she wanted. This has worked in the past, but not today. She put her coat on over her nasty old nightgown! I asked her if she might find it embarrassing to be there in her nightgown, and she said, "No, not in the least."
I called the senior center and they told me I'd have to hang out there until she got dressed, which defeats the purpose of bringing her there... So I told her THERE WAS NO CHOICE and she had to get dressed, and SHE DID. It didn't feel like a victory.
Note to self: Never try to psych out a stubborn old lady with Alzheimer's...
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Ultimate Irony
Betty saw me reading "The 36 Hour Day," an excellent reference book about Alzheimer's, and demanded to know why I was reading it. We don't mention the A word around here because she's convinced she doesn't have it, and gets upset when she hears otherwise. I told her a tasteless joke one day after she heard her diagnosis for the fourth or fifth time in a month and got upset...
Betty looked at me and said, "I don't get it."
A man is at the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have bad news.
You have Alzheimer's Disease."
You have Alzheimer's Disease."
The man gets upset, and the doctor says,
"There's more. You also have cancer."
"There's more. You also have cancer."
The man says, "Well, at least I don't have Alzheimer's Disease!"
Betty looked at me and said, "I don't get it."
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I Think I'm Officially a Hypocrite
About a year ago MIL started receiving Veteran's Administration benefits, as she was in the army for 9 months near the end of WWII. Ironically, she taught map-reading, which she never could do herself. I suspect we were supposed to land in Norway, rather than Normandy, but the mixup was covered up to prevent national embarrassment.
Anyway, Betty gets a VA pension which pays for her care in "assisted living," whether it takes place at a facility or in our home, and she gets her medications at almost no cost. Then I found out she could attend an adult day care center and receive physical therapy at almost no cost, and as of today, the VA is sending a home healthcare aide to our house to help her take a shower, change her clothes, and even clean her room. EVERY WEEK! So three days a week I get a few hours of blessed privacy and peace, and she's gonna put on clean underwear at least once a week! I'd dance a jig if I knew how.
So here's the problem. I'm a fiscal conservative, and I hate how the government is taking everybody's money to pay for social programs. BUT OVER MY DEAD BODY WILL THEY CANCEL BETTY'S SOCIAL PROGRAMS. I'm pretty sure this makes me a BAD fiscal conservative.
Anyway, Betty gets a VA pension which pays for her care in "assisted living," whether it takes place at a facility or in our home, and she gets her medications at almost no cost. Then I found out she could attend an adult day care center and receive physical therapy at almost no cost, and as of today, the VA is sending a home healthcare aide to our house to help her take a shower, change her clothes, and even clean her room. EVERY WEEK! So three days a week I get a few hours of blessed privacy and peace, and she's gonna put on clean underwear at least once a week! I'd dance a jig if I knew how.
So here's the problem. I'm a fiscal conservative, and I hate how the government is taking everybody's money to pay for social programs. BUT OVER MY DEAD BODY WILL THEY CANCEL BETTY'S SOCIAL PROGRAMS. I'm pretty sure this makes me a BAD fiscal conservative.
Monday, April 20, 2009
LET'S JUST BE HONEST
I married David almost 11 years ago, when I was 40 years old. If I'd been a 20-something, my MIL would have had me in tears many times. The first time I invited my in-laws to dinner, I spent the day cleaning the condo and cooking, and when she walked in the door, Betty looked around and said, "I wouldn't worry about it; David is used to living in a messy house."
She loved to remind me how generous David used to be with his money, "before we lost him. You know, when you got married."
She once regailed us at a restaurant in Indianapolis with what she'd learned that day about the causes of vomiting.
And she never tired of telling me how spoiled my daughter was. (I adopted Sami from China before I met David.) Sami was, and is, the most unspoiled child on the planet. You can ask any adult who knows her--she's not perfect, but she's not spoiled!
GET THE PICTURE?
So now, through a series of stupid, if well-meaning decisions, she's living in my house and I'm taking care of her. We knew she had a deteriorating memory, but a few months after moving in she was officially diagnozed with Alzheimer's disease. I have purchased a few books about this, but I'm a little tired of reading about how we must remember how much we love the patient and how much they mean to us and how they can't help what's happening to them so we have to be patient and loving. I'M NEITHER. If you're in the same boat, let's keep each other sane by forgetting all that sweetness and saying how we REALLY feel, okay?
She loved to remind me how generous David used to be with his money, "before we lost him. You know, when you got married."
She once regailed us at a restaurant in Indianapolis with what she'd learned that day about the causes of vomiting.
And she never tired of telling me how spoiled my daughter was. (I adopted Sami from China before I met David.) Sami was, and is, the most unspoiled child on the planet. You can ask any adult who knows her--she's not perfect, but she's not spoiled!
GET THE PICTURE?
So now, through a series of stupid, if well-meaning decisions, she's living in my house and I'm taking care of her. We knew she had a deteriorating memory, but a few months after moving in she was officially diagnozed with Alzheimer's disease. I have purchased a few books about this, but I'm a little tired of reading about how we must remember how much we love the patient and how much they mean to us and how they can't help what's happening to them so we have to be patient and loving. I'M NEITHER. If you're in the same boat, let's keep each other sane by forgetting all that sweetness and saying how we REALLY feel, okay?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)