I married David almost 11 years ago, when I was 40 years old. If I'd been a 20-something, my MIL would have had me in tears many times. The first time I invited my in-laws to dinner, I spent the day cleaning the condo and cooking, and when she walked in the door, Betty looked around and said, "I wouldn't worry about it; David is used to living in a messy house."
She loved to remind me how generous David used to be with his money, "before we lost him. You know, when you got married."
She once regailed us at a restaurant in Indianapolis with what she'd learned that day about the causes of vomiting.
And she never tired of telling me how spoiled my daughter was. (I adopted Sami from China before I met David.) Sami was, and is, the most unspoiled child on the planet. You can ask any adult who knows her--she's not perfect, but she's not spoiled!
GET THE PICTURE?
So now, through a series of stupid, if well-meaning decisions, she's living in my house and I'm taking care of her. We knew she had a deteriorating memory, but a few months after moving in she was officially diagnozed with Alzheimer's disease. I have purchased a few books about this, but I'm a little tired of reading about how we must remember how much we love the patient and how much they mean to us and how they can't help what's happening to them so we have to be patient and loving. I'M NEITHER. If you're in the same boat, let's keep each other sane by forgetting all that sweetness and saying how we REALLY feel, okay?
2 comments:
My great-aunt, who would walk around the nursing home taking pieces of fake foliage as plant starts for her visitors, was quite feisty throughout her life. When she was deep in the Alzheimer's, I guess she forgot how mean she was and was actually quite pleasant to be around. But at the same time, she refused to shower and brush her teeth. It's a very odd disease.
-Barbie
The more I read about it, the more freaked out I get at what's coming! I need to sell a book, make a few hundred thousand bucks, and send her back to the Assisted Living place, but I'm going to be wracked with guilt... we've stopped fostering kittens from the Humane Society because I can't sent them back! Of course, they're cute and cuddly and have WAY better personalities than she does...
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